凝視練習-2
凝視對我來說是個真正的啟示。在進行時我證實了唐望教誨中的一些重要課題。拉葛達顯然是用模糊的方式來描述這項作法。「拉近放大它」聽起來更像是命令而非過程的描述,然而它是一個描述,但需要先具備一項基本條件;唐望把這項條件稱為停頓內在對話。從拉葛達對於凝視的說法來看,對我來說很顯然唐望是要用讓他們凝視的效果來教導他們停止內在對話。拉葛達把它形容為「使念頭寂靜」。唐望也教導我同樣的事,雖然他是用相反的方式;他不教我像凝視者那樣集中我的視線,反而教我打開視野,讓我的意識被充滿,而不集中視覺於任何事物上。我必須有點像是以眼睛來感覺在我面前一百八十度範圍內的一切,同時保持眼睛不聚焦於地平線之上。
Gazing had been a true revelation to me. In performing it I had corroborated some important issues of don Juan’s teachings. La Gorda had delineated the task in a definitely vague manner. "To zoom in on it" was more a command than a description of a process, and yet it was a description, providing that one essential requirement had been fulfilled; don Juan had called that requirement stopping the internal dialogue. From la Gorda’s statements about gazing it was obvious to me that the effect don Juan had been after in making them gaze was to teach them to stop the internal dialogue. La Gorda had expressed it as "quieting down the thoughts." Don Juan had taught me to do that very same thing, although he had made me follow the opposite path; instead of teaching me to focus my view, as gazers did, he taught me to open it, to flood my awareness by not focusing my sight on anything. I had to sort of feel with my eyes everything in the 180 - degree range in front of me, while I kept my eyes unfocused just above the line of the horizon.
要我凝視是很困難的,因為需要我扭轉以前的訓練。當我試著凝視時,我習慣於放開視線。然而,在保持檢查這種傾向的努力中,讓我關閉了念頭。一旦我的內在對話關掉後,就沒有困難按照拉葛達的指示凝視了。
It was very difficult for me to gaze, because it entailed reversing that training. As I tried to gaze, my tendency was to open up. The effort of keeping that tendency in check, however, made me shut off my thoughts. Once I had turned off my internal dialogue, it was not difficult to gaze as la Gorda had prescribed.
唐望一再強調,他的巫術的核心特色就是關掉內在對話。就拉葛達給予我關於兩種注意力領域的解釋來說,停頓內在對話是一種操作型的描述,說明解除 tonal 注意力的行動。
Don Juan had asserted time and time again that the essential feature of his sorcery was shutting off the internal dialogue. In terms of the explanation la Gorda had given me about the two realms of attention, stopping the internal dialogue was an operational way of describing the act of disengaging the attention of the tonal.
唐望也說,一旦我們停止了我們的內在對話,我們也停頓了世界。這也是一種操作型的描述,描述我們集中第二注意力的不可思議過程。他說我們內部的某些部分總是被關押起來,因為我們畏懼它,對我們的理性而言,那部分就像是一個被我們鎖在地窖中的瘋狂親戚。以拉葛達的話來說,那部分就是我們的第二注意力,當它終於能夠聚焦於什麼時,世界就會停頓。由於我們身為普通人,只知道 tonal注意力,因此可以不牽強地說,一旦 tonal 注意力被取消後,世界當然就必須停頓。我們狂野不馴的第二注意力在集中時必然是強烈而駭人的。唐望說得不錯,唯一能防止那瘋狂親戚闖入我們的方法,就是用不間斷的內在對話來保護我們自己。
Don Juan had also said that once we stop our internal dialogue we also stop the world. That was an operational description of the inconceivable process of focusing our second attention. He had said that some part of us is always kept under lock and key because we are afraid of it, and that to our reason, that part of us was like an insane relative that we keep locked in a dungeon. That part was, in la Gorda’s terms, our second attention, and when it finally could focus on something the world stopped. Since we, as average men, know only the attention of the tonal, it is not too farfetched to say that once that attention is canceled, the world indeed has to stop. The focusing of our wild, untrained second attention has to be, perforce, terrifying. Don Juan was right in saying that the only way to keep that insane relative from bursting in on us was by shielding ourselves with our endless internal dialogue.
(《巫士的傳承》pp. 338-339)